


Not a Mouse Shall Disturb This Hallow'd House

by miraworos



Series: Mira's Ineffable Husbands Ficlets [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22602028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraworos/pseuds/miraworos
Summary: Aziraphale has a mouse phobia and Crowley has to deal with it.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Mira's Ineffable Husbands Ficlets [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621357
Comments: 16
Kudos: 111





	Not a Mouse Shall Disturb This Hallow'd House

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a collection of ficlets posted to Tumblr. This installment continues the trend of tooth-rotting fluff. Eternal thanks to [Z A Dusk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snakeandmoon/pseuds/Z%20A%20Dusk) for the beta!

_Let's check in on the cricket finals, shall we?_ Crowley thought, as he pulled out his phone and collapsed onto the couch in the back room of the bookshop. He tapped a betting app to pull up the scores, smiling at the results. He wasn't a cricket fan, or really a sports fan, or even a gambling fan, when it came down to it. But rigging sports results against the larger betting population was a fun and easy way to keep the instincts sharp, as it were.

Crowley was feeling particularly tingly over the blistering comments filling up the betting blogs when there was a crash, and an alarmingly high-pitched shriek came from the front of the bookshop, where the angel had been dusting his shelves.

Crowley fumbled his phone. The blasted thing slipped out of his grasp to the floor, screen cracking, despite his desperate attempts to recapture it. 

_Bloody slippery squares of insolence._

Another shriek tore through the shop, and Crowley leapt to his feet. If something was indeed attacking his angel, then whatever-it-was was about to meet the business end of a woodchipper. On the other hand, if it were merely the angel emitting his distinct shriek-sneeze--which happened when he got dust up his nose--then said angel was buying Crowley a new phone.

It was neither, it turned out, for when Crowley rounded the last bookcase to assess the damage, one Principality Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Wielder of the Flaming Sword, climbed Crowley like a tree, feather duster in hand, still shrieking (though, thankfully, at a slightly lower volume).

Crowley sighed.

"What appears to be the problem?" he asked, keeping his tone mild as he held his angel aloft.

"M-mouse!" Aziraphale shrieked again, pointing with the feather duster to a corner of the room cluttered with several waist-high stacks of books.

Crowley lurched towards Aziraphale's desk, and deposited the angel into the desk chair. Leaning against one of the wings of the chair, Crowley took the opportunity (as he often did these days) to speak closely into the angel's ear.

"How is it that you can stuff doves up your sleeves and wear them to a party, and pull rabbits out of hidey holes by their earlobes, yet you go ballistic over the presence of teeny, tiny mouse?"

As Crowley suspected, the mere ghost of his breath on Aziraphale's neck was enough to both calm the angel's jitters and incite an entirely different, and highly satisfactory, set of observable reactions.

"Well, it isn't the same! Obviously. Mice are-are-are _book eaters_."

Crowley laughed, instigating the immediate ire of one fussy angel.

"Would you like me to get rid of it for you?" Crowley purred. He allowed his irises to turn full snake, sharpening his features ever so slightly for emphasis. After all, mice were a particular delicacy.

"Not at all," Aziraphale said, straightening his waistcoat as well as he could while still holding the feather duster. "Crowley, I'm surprised at you. There will be no dealing of death in my shop!"

"Alright, angel. Calm down." Crowley straightened, though he left his arm draped across the back of the chair. "What would you prefer?"

"Just...just take it away. Elsewhere."

Crowley shrugged and made to snap his fingers.

"Not like that!" the angel gasped, grabbing his hand.

"Whyever not?"

"We never really know where things go when we banish them. She could end up i-in a room full of rocking chairs...or worse, elephants. You can't just miracle her away. She's a living being with feelings, you know."

Aaand there it was. That soulful, blue-eyed expression full of confidence that Crowley could and would make everything better again. Would take his hand, would save his books, would prove he cared.

So Crowley sighed, straightened his sunglasses, and prepared to go to war with a mouse--the human way. 

Three hours and copious amounts of cursing later, he emerged from the battle dusty and bruised but victorious, his adversary successfully trapped in a cage. Then he took the mouse _in his Bentley_ to St. James’s Park and let it go. All of which just proved how completely besotted he still was with the angel, even after all this time, because it honestly hadn’t occurred to him until he was on his way back to the shop that he could have easily miracled away or eaten the bloody mouse the second he’d left Aziraphale’s presence and avoid sullying his beloved Bentley. 

_Ah, well. The things we do for love..._

Upon returning to the bookshop, he burst through the door like a gallant knight, expecting a rapturous reward from his damsel in distress for a dragon well slain, only to see the damsel in question balancing precariously on top of a bookcase.

"What the--?"

"She had an accomplice!" Aziraphale shrieked.

Crowley closed his eyes, slowly inhaling and then exhaling. And after quietly banging his head against the still open door, he waded into the fray once again for his angel.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! If you enjoyed it, please drop me a line and let me know. Also, feel free to swing by my socials and say hi--I'm most active on [Tumblr](https://miraworos.tumblr.com/), but I'm also on [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.social/miraworos). And last but not least, check out my other [Good Omens fic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraworos/works?fandom_id=27251507)!


End file.
